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Smile Only for You

Smile Only For You
By: Memory Dragon
Summary: She loved her special person more than anyone else... Which is why even though she moves on, her smile will always be for them.
Disclaimer: I do not own Card Captor Sakura, no do I make any claim to.
Warnings: Rather bitter-sweet.
Author's thanks: To Leri, for reading it over for me. This fic was written for Ang a long, long time ago and I just remembered I had it. So now you guys can enjoy it too.
Notes: No real concrete time line for this one, but it's basically a short fanfic in three movements. From the point of view from Meiling and Tomoyo. Not a pairing.

~

Her eyes were only for that boy. His kind and gentle smile, like a warm breeze that caressed her cheek. His graceful movements, just as smooth as the flowing water. The way he would practice his martial arts and make it look like he was dancing, which she loved to watch. His infrequent, awkward expressions of his feelings, that always left her breathless. But most of all, she loved gazing into the boy's serious, yet soft, brown eyes.

She had watched the boy grow up ever since they were little. It wasn't love at first sight, but something much more gradual. At first, she was put off by the boy's serious demeanor. Never smiling or talking to her, almost like he was too high above her to bother making friends with someone noisy like her. She found out that she was wrong about the little boy, however, when he brought back her bird on that rainy day, all because she had been crying. Something inside her changed. Something inside her grew. Something that made her have eyes for only that boy.

So she became the boy's fiancée. She was happy, even if she knew he didn't quite feel the same way. They made a promise that as long as he didn't have anyone else he loved the most, they would eventually be married. That was enough for her, to be at her most special person's side all the time. To create memories of him smiling only for her, those small and gentle smiles. These memories were her most cherished possessions.

The years went by. The boy was told to go to Japan to collect the now scattered Clow Cards that were disrupting the area's balance. After a while, she was able to follow him there. That was when she saw it.

Her special person smiled more now. It wasn't because of her either. Or that strange high school boy who always ate so much. She had spent more than enough time watching her special person to know that it was just a small crush, nothing more. He wasn't a threat to her happiness. At first, she thought it might be because the lack of this family's very overbearing presence. But that wasn't entirely it either. It was that girl.

That girl. So bubbly and cheerful. As dense as a rock too. She wanted to hate that girl at first. But the other girl was too hard to hate and her personality was infectious. That girl was too nice for her own good... it was impossible to not like her. Besides, her special person always got annoyed when she tried being mean to her... That girl had even helped her out several times regardless of how mean she had been, even with her with her relationship with that person. She couldn't hate that girl. She was her dear friend.

What could she do then, when those two started to fall in love? It was inevitable with their chemistry. She could deny it all she wanted, but it was there. Even her denials couldn't stand up to the fact that she heard him call out that girl's first name. By that time, even he had stopped denying his feelings for that girl. There was nothing she could do. Her special person was already too far gone from her. The only thing she could do after that was cry on Daidouji's lap and try to help those two finally be happy together.

Her eyes were only for that girl. Her warm and energetic smile, just like a beam of light from the sun settling on falling cherry blossoms. Her occasional clumsiness that she inherited from her mother. The way she could roller skate with a lovely grace and then run into someone when she wasn't paying attention. Her frequent and affectionate expressions of her feelings, that always left her breathless. But most of all, she loved gazing into the girl's soft, yet strong, green eyes.

She had watched the girl ever since they were little. It wasn't love at first sight, but something much more gradual. At first, she was jealous of the girl's lighthearted attitude. It was so easy for her to make friends with those around her, but she would never bother with a quiet girl like herself. She found out that she was wrong about the little girl, however, when she smiled warmly as she gave away her easer, all because she was sitting next to her. Something inside her changed. Something inside her grew. Something that made her have eyes only for that girl.

So she became the girl's best friend. She was happy, even if she knew the girl didn't quite feel the same way. They made a promise that they would be best friends forever. That was enough for her, to be at the girl's side all the time. To film tapes of that girl smiling only for her, those warm and happy smiles. These films were her most cherished possessions.

The years went by. The girl was told she had to collect the Clow Cards she had accidentally released. She helped the girl and made her special costumes. That was when she saw it.

Her special person smiled less just for her lately. It wasn't because of anything she had done. Nor was it because of her special person's childhood crush. She had watched him closely enough know that he was in love with someone else. He wasn't a threat to her happiness. At first, she thought it might just be because the girl had more friends. But that wasn't entirely it either. It was that boy.

That boy. So quiet and serious. Rather gullible as well. She wanted to hate that boy at first, for making her special person so unsure of herself. But her special person wouldn't have liked that. Besides, he was better able to protect her special person... Much better than herself. Soon, she found herself becoming friends with him as well. He wasn't all that different from herself and she enjoyed teasing him about her special person. He even protected herself on occasion. She couldn't hate that boy. He was her dear friend.

What could she do then, when those two started to fall in love? It was inevitable with their chemistry. She found it useless to deny it, even if her special person didn't realize her feelings because another crush clouded her vision. But it wasn't long after her heart was broken that she started to turn to that boy unconsciously. There was nothing she could do. Her special person was already too far gone from her. The only thing she could do was comfort Meiling as she cried and try to help those two finally be happy together.

It wasn't easy. That girl would never realize her own feeling without some outside help. That boy kept running away from telling her the truth about how he felt. They would have been a hopelessly lost cause on their own. She had to help, or those two would never get together. She had to help, even though each step hurt her so much...

In those times when it hurt too much, she would turn to her memories of when her special person's smile was only for her. She wanted to see that smile again, even if it was turned toward that girl. For him, she had to be cheerful and let her know she was okay with it.

In those times when it hurt too much, she would re-watch films of when her special person's smile was only for her. She wanted to see that smile again, even if it was turned toward that boy. For her, she had to be cheerful and push that boy in the right direction.

She couldn't stay in the past like this forever. Even if the smile and the eyes of that special person were turned elsewhere, she had to move on. Because it was the current moment that is the most beautiful. Not even the past could compare to how happy the two of them were now. It was the current moment... when they were the happiest together. Even if it was without her.

Because that was how love worked. All love was unrequited, all of it. Sometimes, people found someone else who felt the same passion towards them. Sometimes, they didn't. But the most important think was that love was given freely, without expecting anything in return. That was the mark of real passion, real joy. Real love.

Who knows? Maybe someone else will come along and catch her eye. They might love her... and she might love them enough in return. Those two would be sad if she didn't, and she never wanted them to be sad. She had to move on and keep her head up high. It wouldn't be the same, of course. No, it could never be the same. But it was possible.

Because even if someone else came along, she would still love her special person. The most important person in her life could never change. Her eyes might be averted sometimes, but her smile would always be...

For that boy.

For that girl.

And because of that, she could be happy.

~Fini~

Quote of the fic:

"All love is unrequited, Steven. All of it."
- Susan Ivanova, Babylon 5