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A Lonely Night

A Lonely Night
Summary: Some people say it is better to have loved and lost then to never have loved at all...
By: MemoryDragon
Characters: Usagi Tsukino/Tuxedo Kamen-sama, Minako Aino
Disclaimer: Sailor Moon belongs to Naoko Takeuchi and Kodansha. I do not own them and make no claim to.

Notes: So, time for some more historic fanfiction.  This is my very first fanfic!  Well, there was another fic that has been erased off the face of the planet, and that's really how it should be.  As far as I'm concerned, that fic didn't happen.  So this is the first fanfic.  XD 

It's a Sailor Moon fic, based off the manga and using Japanese names.  I think I wrote it sometime back in highschool?  Well, the date on ff.net is listed back in 2003, so judge accordingly.  It's old and probably not so good, but it's at least not overly cringe worthy.  I hope.  Enjoy for what it's worth?

Some people say that it’s better to have loved and lost, then never to have loved at all. I wouldn’t know though. At least, not in this lifetime.

Oh sure, I’ve had crushes. Tons. I was the girl who was always chasing after the latest pop star or the new student who was the hottest thing I’d ever seen. Which, naturally, changed every week. I would sit on my window sill just as I am now and trace their faces in the stars. But none of that was the real thing.

And that’s what I’ve always wanted. The real thing. True love. A life bond. A soul mate. Someone who would complete me. There are a million different ways to say it. So why then, is it so rare?

I daydreamed of it constantly, much to my teacher’s disapproval. My picture of the perfect guy was one that was tall, blond, and had blue eyes, like the guy that ran the arcade. Sweet, smart, and intelligent; the perfect dream hunk. It’s no wonder I never get good grades.

I read all the romance novels I could get my hands on. I wanted to be an expert at it, so I would know what it was when it happened. I entertained some notions of the tall, dark, and mysterious, but in the end I decided I wanted someone who was straight forward and didn’t hide his secrets. The other type was just too much trouble. But destiny had something else in mind for me.

About two years ago I started to have this weird dream. It was always about a prince whose eyes were shadowed and I could never make out his features. But besides him, the dream was always so clear and detailed. I could see every blade of grass, the dream world made my senses that hypersensitive. Not that I was looking anywhere else but at him.

The dream would start with us walking through the gardens, just talking. We’d talk about the relationship between the earth and the moon kingdom, how wonderful the peace of the Silver Millennium is, or some joke that was going around in court. Back then I didn’t know what any of that meant, but now I do.

After awhile of the chitchat would die off and an awkward silence would grow between us. I’d feel his hands on my shoulders, forcing me to look up at him, into his shadowed face. He would tell me I was beautiful, sighting examples like my eyes sparkled like a pair of sapphires or my long hair was like a stream of gold.

I would refute him, of course, saying my hair was nothing compared to some other blonde’s and my eyes were as ruff as gravel in contrast to hers. I didn’t recognize her name, but now I know her to be the person I admire most. Now I remember how people would always compare our beauty and how I would always come up short. I was never quite jealous, but it did leave me slightly bitter.

The best part of the dream was when he would lift my chin up and kiss me gently. I still shiver in delight when I think of the memory, for that is what it is. I know that now. After the divine kiss, he would tell me that the other blond was no contest. There was no resemblance between that pretty girl and the beautiful woman who stood before him. All I wanted was to hear him say it again.

At first the dream would end there. I would wake up still feeling the warmth of his arms around me and the sweet taste of his kiss on my lips. Until a cat came into my life and started talking to me. A cat that told me I was to be the champion of justice and I would stand up against all the evil of the world. A cat with a strange bald marking on its forehead that looked like a crescent moon.

You could imagine my surprise. A talking cat. A phrase that would change me into a warrior of justice who wore a short blue skirt and a sailor-ish white top with a blue tail and a big read bow in the center. To top it off was a simple mask to hide my identity, so no one would know who I was. I was a sailor soldier, who fought on behalf of the moon. Talk about a major shock! There was even a masked man who protected me!

From that point on, the dreams became nightmares.

From that point on, I walked alone in the gardens. People would taunt me, saying I was in love with an earthling and should be disgraced. They said that he was in love with someone else and that he worked for the enemy. The only thing that kept me standing tall was my unyielding faith in him.

The last day I lived, he came to see me. It was at the last ball of the Silver Millennium, and we danced. Tears ran down my face as I realized that this would be the last time. Out of the corner of my eye I could see all my friends were realizing the same thing. Then the darkness came.

The darkness tempted him, threatened to tear us apart. It took over his body, burning at his soul till there was nothing left. Then, it would then turn to me and do the same. I would see this scene over and over again, feeling the pain searing threw my body like an electric current coursing through my veins. And the worst of it was that the darkness made it seem like he was the one inflicting the eternal agony on me.

Now I know that there was a light that healed me and sent me to earth to be reborn. But it still haunts me, those last moments. However, at the time I still didn’t know who this dream guy was. So I just fought like the cat taught me to, hoping I would find him. For a while, I fought alone, with only the cat to guide me. But slowly I tracked down the other sailor soldiers, girls who held the same destiny as me. The newspapers started to idolized me. Me, of all people. The class ditz who had no more brains then a powder puff and whose hair color was the constant root of jokes. I was living a dream.

And he was there.

Well, I didn’t know it was him, not until it was too late. Every time I saw him we would trade insults. Given the chance, we’d have fought it out all night until we were black and blue. But there was always something that held me back. When he wasn’t around, I found my thoughts repeatedly on him. I couldn’t stop myself from getting lost in those eyes, or wondering how wonderful if would feel with his arms around me...

I would blush deeply every time I caught myself thinking like that. It was him after all. Every time I see him I’m yelling at him or he’s yelling at me. No stop to the fighting. I could not be in love with him!

I hope someone got a laugh at that cosmic joke. Because when my subconscious finally let me recognize him, he was my enemy. I find the thing I’ve longed for all my life, only to have to kill him.

So I sit here, looking out my window with my eyes full of tears. A gentle breeze comes into caress my cheek, drying my eyes like he did my final night on the moon. It reminds me to be strong. Though the others don’t remember, their loves are already dead by their own hands. The only ones with a chance to be happy are the blonde and I.

Only now I know everything. Mine, like the others, is past hope. But I will do everything in my power to keep the princess’s happiness from falling prey to the same darkness that took mine away. I, Aino Minako, will not let my princess fall into the same lonely fate. And tomorrow I will not shed a tear as we kill my beloved.

I looked up at the moon one last time before going to bed. “Good bye, Kunzite. My love.”



( 2 comments — Leave a comment )
Jul. 2nd, 2011 06:35 pm (UTC)
Well, that was depressing... Though it does feel accurate to the character. Nicely written.
Jul. 2nd, 2011 07:36 pm (UTC)
Re: O.O
Ack! People are reading my first fanfic. ^_^;;; Still, I'm glad you enjoyed it!
( 2 comments — Leave a comment )