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Okay, so tardiscrash and bagheera_san sort of inadvertently got me into reading Avengers fics.  Which has lead to some strange musing on my part...

I don't think I really want to write the characters, but I've been enjoying reading the fics recently.  And today when I had a very rough day at work (not really a bad one, but just... rough), I kinda decided to screw all the things I was supposed to be doing (rewatching Ice Warriors serials for my next Amy-verse fic, listening to podfics that I really do need to listen to, and so forth) and read ridiculously fluffy fic.  I do mean ridiculously.  I think I even read a fic titled "Stop, Drop, and Cuddle" and my mind went all CUDDLE.  WANT.  Thankfully, unlike another fic that claimed to disappoint in the sex, and then went and sexed things up when there really should have been cuddling instead, this one was actually just cuddling.  And Mem was happy.

That said, I've mostly just been ignoring the sex fics.  Of which there are a lot of.  I'll read one or two every so often just because there are good fics out there that include sex, but I'm fairly sure you guys all know my stance on this by now.  I just get boooooooooooooored.  It doesn't do much for me at all, just reading it.  That goes for het, male slash, and fem slash.  Tentacle Porn does something for me, but that's more the rolling on the floor laughing at how ridiculous it is rather than actually feeling turned on by it.  I think I had a bit too much Maniac Mansion and Day of the Tentacle as a kid.  Also, I read a BDSM fic recently that was insanely good despite the large amounts of sex in it.  Usually, I don't get into that sort of thing, but this was realistic BDSM that actually went into culture and insight and I was learning things while reading it.  So the fic ended up being awesome, and rather fascinating with how 'trust' was handled.  Still nada with being turned on though.  It was just kind of cool.

It's even worse writing porn.  I get so insecure about it, largely because if it's dull to me, then I really can't see why other people would want to read it.  Which isn't to say I don't intellectually understand that people just get off on different things, but I get so bored by writing it that I get convinced it shows in my writing, and is therefore horrible.  nemaline and narwhale_callin can tell you how much I angsted over the Broken Reality fics.  Cy actually got the brunt of my complaining, since she always complains to me when she has to write a sex scene.  It was only fair to turn the tables on her.  She was also absolutely no help with the whole sex thing, being asexual and finding porn just as dull as I do. Nar, at least, told me that it worked, even if I was slow to believe her and wanting to still tear out that scene in the sequel anyway.  It's kind of sad really, since I write a ton for a kink meme, yet I try to avoid the sex bits as much as possible.  -_-;;;  Thankfully, the b_e kink meme really doesn't seem to mind that much.  And it was really fun just doing away with sex all together on a few of the prompts I knew it wouldn't be minded, Zombie Plan (which was written for Cy, since I knew it as her prompt), and Let It Snow (which I strongly suspected was _rubber_chicken after Nar pointed me towards her comment on the fic by x_los).  Then there was the whole Mrs. Pond/Amy-verse, which is really Cy's fault to begin with. 

Though, admittedly, I did really enjoy writing my Nine/Delgado Master fic as well.  That was a more sex geared prompt (and Delgado Master prompt), but to me it was much more about Nine than anything else.  I didn't have any problems writing the more sensual bits of that, and I got to use a nice little fade to dark so I didn't have to write anything more tedious.  It honestly didn't feel that sexy to me, but Nar told me it was very.  I believe her exact words ran somewhere along the lines of saying the sexy bits "sprung like leaping tigers" and were like "the excitement one encounters when one unexpectedly happens upon wild tigers, and you have a working camera with you."  I more or less took her word on that.  Thankfully, the Master wasn't too upset with me for shifting the focus off him either, since he was getting good (left to the imagination) sex out of it.  It makes me want to attempt that Nine/Simm Master prompt on the anon meme, but at the same time...  Well, one, its writing more sex, and two, the last time I attempted hate sex still disturbs me.  As much as I've grown to like that fic despite my mixed feelings towards that scene, I'd really rather not attempt more like it.  -_-;;;

Anyway, back to the original point...

There are some things that do turn me on though.  One of the short stories in Firecracker is Melancholy by Arina Tanemura has a scene where the main male character takes the main female character's hand and looks at her, not with lust, but with just this serious sort of look and kisses her hand.  I was madly blushing and suddenly very hot and flustered.  Then there's stuff like this Shalka fic over at the b_e anon meme that is extremely hot.  Don't ask me why, it just is. 

And then I found this fic by jazzypom.  There is no actual porn to it at all.  Not even kissing.  The whole affair is actually one-sided, and it's mostly just Steve thinking, and he's not even thinking about sex.  I'm telling you though, that is some of the best sex I've ever read.  It's totally porn, regardless of whether or not it has actual sex in it.  And better yet, it's good porn.  Despite the fact there is none, I know.  But read that and tell me it isn't hot and steamy.  (Asexual people on my flist, hush.  I'm well aware of your snarky reply to that statement.  <3 )

The thing is, all Steve is doing is sketching.  He's not even sketching sexy times.  Just normal, every day pictures of a fully clothed Tony that some how end up being more sensual than even hard core porn.  I was even disappointed slightly by the ending, since Steve wasn't sketching Tony while waiting to be noticed, and I was all like... "MY SEX!  WHERE DID IT GO?"  Seriously, I'd thought I was just finding it so incredibly sexy because Steve was noticing all these things about Tony that he'd never noticed before, but the ending fell sort of flat as far as the sexy times went.  So it really was just the sketching thing.  Don't ask me why.  It just is.

So, future husband, if you are reading this, don't send me dirty text messages.  Just sketch me like a non-French girl and I'll apparently find that incredibly sexy.  I'm weird, I know.  Just go with it. 

I think I did have an actual point to make with this post, but I got way too side tracked and kind of forgot what it was.  Plus, it's getting time for me to go to bed.  So just enjoy the fic. 


( 5 comments — Leave a comment )
(Deleted comment)
Dec. 8th, 2011 12:53 pm (UTC)
Well, it's your podfics and the other podfics too. I really need to go through and actually listen to some of them, especially since not all of them are Rose fics which I tend to avoid anyway.

I'll see if I can't find the fic again when I get back. I promised I'd find it for Cy too. It's more Avengers fic, that uses the comics rather than the movie. Which, I've never read, but I don't have too much problem with the comic context since the fic pretty much explains things well enough. I tend to lean more towards comic fic rather than movie fic for Tony Stark, if just because the characterization of those are usually a bit closer to my own head canon of him. I've really yet to find a fic that really melds with that yet, or the prompts I thought would be fairly sort of obvious but apparently aren't.


That was my thought on the whole tigers thing. Like I said, I'll just take Nar's word for it about that fic being sexy. XD

Well, I like Broken Reality... It's just some bits of it that I still re-read and think 'God, what was I thinking, writing near rape?' Especially since it was my first time writing such things too. -_-;;; I never make things easy on myself.

Oh, good. At least I'm not the only one who is getting turned on by this. It was a lovely concept though.

ha ha. Glad to be of help.
Dec. 8th, 2011 09:39 pm (UTC)
(I laugh at your quote with love, Nar, I promise)

Not offended in the slightest! I'm rather laughing at it myself. (Oh, the strange things I write when I'm amused.) :-)
Dec. 8th, 2011 10:26 pm (UTC)
Here is that BDSM fic I mentioned.
Dec. 8th, 2011 09:36 pm (UTC)
**bursts out laughing at the tigers bit** Wow, I'd completely forgotten I'd written that. XD Oh, me and my enthusiastic figurative language. I think the general gist of what I meant with that metaphor was that it was intense, exciting, and more than a little dangerous.

Sex fics? **shrug** It depends on my mood. And how well it's written. If it starts reading like a manual, I generally get bored.

As for writing them...well, one of my early ones came this close to an actual sex fic, and then I was like, "Nope. Nope. I'm done here. I thought I'd give it a try, and I did. Done." And the other one with mind sex was just so I could have more fun writing figuratively (whheeee!).
Generally, I tend not to write sex because I've been trained/taught to a.) write sex "literarily" (different from "literally")--so it tends to be short and euphemistic, and b.) write it only if it's purposeful to character development or plot.

Luckily, though, on the occasions you write sex, they are purposeful! :-)

**tilts head sideways** I think you're trying to say your turn-on is "focus and concentration." Perhaps. Go seek chess players.
Dec. 8th, 2011 10:24 pm (UTC)
It amused me greatly at the time. XD I can send you the full paragraph if you like. It was just one of those things that stuck in my memory.

I try to avoid the PWP ones. But occasionally someone will write a brilliant fic with sex and it'll be labeled PWP even when it's not. Actually, one of the fics that has come the closest to my Tony head canon was mostly sex. It was frustrating, because it was like 'YES. SOMEONE IS FINALLY WRITING HIM THE WAY I SEE HIM.' Except it was all sex. -_-;;; I'll generally scan it to see if its interesting first and move on if it isn't.

It was fun mind sex though. I thought it was pretty. <3 Yeah, I'm not too fond of writing them though. If just because I stress out way too much over them since I have no clue if it actually works or not. That, and they're all pretty dull to me... Unfortunately, literarily doesn't work for me half the time. I focus too much on movements and touches, which is odd because I'm hardly a sensualist in real life. I like my personal space to be cleared of anyone else as much as I like my characters cuddling constantly. Sense. I don't make it. It's all good though, cause I'm used to that.

Do you know how much I tried to keep from writing the sex in Io? I tried everything. Except I was fucked since so much of the angst was about sex. >.< There's a reason my sex scenes are purposeful. It's usually because I can't avoid them. XD I agree though. Something needs to be happening other than just the sex, or it gets even more boring than it normally is. If not, fade to blacks and gloss-overs are perfectly capable of doing the job. I like fade to blacks and gloss-overs. They've saved my sanity many a time.

Well, not quite. Because he had that focus and concentration in the last scene as well, except he wasn't drawing in the last scene. And without the drawing, it wasn't sexy. O_o I have no idea how that worked, but that was how it ended up.
( 5 comments — Leave a comment )