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I pity the violins

Fair warning, this rant has severe case of AD-OS!  That's Attention Deficit - OH SHINY! 

So at the moment, I'm slightly obsessed with this song:

This is due to a few reasons.  Mostly A) I've recently fallen in love with Regina Spektor and am still in the honeymoon phase. B) It's got some rich imagery that I can't get enough of.  And C) it's a song that has nothing to do with sex and romance, which is rare enough that I sit up and take notice.  Also, for D) it's just an awesome song.

The thing is, when I slightly obsess over songs, I feel the need to do something fannish with them.  Usually, I'm never sure quite what to do with them.  I've never been terribly gifted at fanvids/amv's, nor have I been able to really decipher the programs to make such things.  In general, I tend to dislike songfics (Unless they are awesome like this one.  Exceptions to every rule.), especially ones I've written.  Which was only one, and that was while I was still in high school and did not know better, so I think I can be forgiven.  Even if it was terrible.  Oh, God, why do people even comment on my old fics?  Just tell me they suck, because they really, really do. 


Anyway, before I went on a self-pitying rant, I stated that I tend to want to do something with songs.  Unfortunately, me and pompts are a finicky thing.  If I'm browsing a list of prompts, it's all good.  I can have bursts of creativity when my subconscious so desires.  When it's people giving me prompts, things get a bit more iffy.  I can do it, because like any English major I can write at least 1000 words on any given subject if pressed (Qwilleran would be so proud)  (No one is going to get that reference, but oh, well.), but it's generally never my most inspired works.  I know when I'm good and when I'm being brilliant.  Overall, I prefer being the latter when at all possible.  We won't go into the third option, absolutely sucking (which happens a lot too.  Yes, it does, don't argue with me), because the last thing we need this already ramble-y post to turn into rambling self-pity.  I think I have failed miserably at this so far, but you can't say I'm not trying. 

Which always leads me around to this: What can I even do with the bloody song?  Not much, it turns out.  That doesn't stop me from wanting, but I tend to end up sad and acting like I'm chocolate-deprived when this happens.  And apparently pitifully self-indulgent if those last two paragraphs are anything to go by. 

The thing is, while I want to do something with it, I also tend to want to do something well.  So unless I feel a sudden strike of complete and utter brilliance, I get these generally vague desires to write something that when acted upon turn out subpar.  Which is what this song is doing to me now.  I know I kind of want to do something Whovian with it, but I'm not sure what.

The main problem is I don't want to take the song literally.  Not that the Doctor going through creepy space museums doesn't make for an awesome plot, because it does, but I think what gets me about the song is the imagery and feelings of it, and I like translating that to other things.  I think the song works really well for the Doctor on a deeper level since it's loneliness and being unable to fight against it, and I'd want to tap into that.  I just have no idea how I'd do that. 

See, those kinds of feelings work best when I'm slotting them into a predetermined plot.  Example: While writing my most recent fic, Untameable (which is totally a word, damn it, regardless of what spell check says.  Americanized or not, 'untamable' just looks funky), the basic plot was Avengers fighting a dragon, then a unicorn, then spoilers, and finally, a discussion on virginity.  Actually, no, the basic plot was a discussion of virginity, before my mind got a hold of it and decided crack-like plot devices were needed.  However, it's not named Virginity Kink: Turned On Its Head.  For one thing, that's a crappy title.  For another, while it might have been the whole reason I wrote the darned thing, it wasn't the central feeling.  Maybe it would have been, if I hadn't wimped out and tried to write it from Steve's POV.  But I did wimp out (Don't judge me.  Cap is hard.  I do better with ramble-y characters, since I am prone to doing so myself. Just in case you guys did not notice this), and it was written from Tony's POV with  Tony as the heart of it.  Also, he demanded to be the center of attention, which should surprise no one.  So it gets named Untameable, because unicorns can only be tamed by virgins and Tony can only be tamed by/play nice with others when they're uniquely special people that he might admit to being his friends in the privacy of his own head.  Even though he won't actually admit that he's a push over for them.  Because he's Tony. 

I loved writing that into the fic.  It also wasn't planned in the slightest, because it just sort of happened.  I didn't go into the fic thinking, hey, I'm going to add 'Tony being a team player' issues that he still insists he has.  It just fit, because my subconscious obviously knows more of what it's doing than I do.  This was actually one of the few times the title pre-dated the fic, so obviously my mind was being brilliant without telling me.  It happens sometimes.  Especially since I tend to argue with myself, lose, and proceed not to speak with myself again for quite some time.  This happens more than I care to admit, to be honest.  Anyway, the point is (oh, dear Lord, do I even have one of those at this point?), plot then feelings, not the other way around.  That's the way I work best. 

Broken Realities was a perfect example of this, actually.  I had a fantastic scene going through my head of the Master tearing the Doctor apart with so many feelings.  I just had no reason to write it.  It was painful, because it was a beautiful scene (how well that translated from my head, you guys can judge.  It's the starting argument).  I just wanted to explore the Doctor being hypocritical in who he forgives and the Master wanted all sorts of nasty and mean feels (never argue with your characters.  It's generally better to let them win, because they know how they're going to act best).  I was extremely angsty for a while because I wanted to write it but had no plot for it.  Then I saw that fateful prompt and realized, 'Oh, shit.  Now I have to write pr0n.'  But I wrote it, because damned if I wasn't going to finally use that scene now that I had a plot for it!

So when feelings without plot comes around, I end up sort of adrift.  I've thought lots of times, "Now there's something I'd like to explore in fic," but without the plot to back it up, only bad things come from it.  Mostly in the form of being a wistful dragon who needs lots of chocolate and shinies to cheer her up.

Most of all, 'I pity the violins' would make an awesome title for a story.  But that's a whole 'nother thing I'm mourning.  Sigh. 

This song of hers also gives me feels.  This one I just like for it's randomness.

In other news, I hate it when I post something to a com, then the very next announcement they make has a warning/reminder to heed the rules and regulations.  Because my first reaction was to panic with 'Crap.  I did something wrong to merit that! I THOUGHT I READ ALL THE POSTING RULES, DAMNIT.'  I automatically went to check my post to make sure it had all those things because I don't want to make a bad first impression with mods.  Mods are like school secretaries.  You make sure to get along with secretaries, because they are the ones who are running things and can make your life either easier or a living hell.  I'm just going to assume the warning wasn't meant for me though, since I did have all the things in the mandatory header.  It just freaked me out for no reason.  >.>  Sigh again.


( 11 comments — Leave a comment )
Sep. 12th, 2012 08:43 am (UTC)
Cool song, and yeah, I could definitely see this is an inspiration for a Doctor Who plot.

And "I pity the violins" is indeed a great line to steal for a title.
Sep. 12th, 2012 11:35 am (UTC)
:o A wild non-Nar commenter appears!

It gives me so many feels, yet nothing to do with them. It makes me a terribly sad panda sometimes.

It iiiiiiiiiiiiiiis. I think that's what crushes me the most over this. I'm generally hit and miss with titles, but that one would be awesome. Sigh. I probably don't need any more distractions from Amy-verse anyway.
Sep. 13th, 2012 03:03 am (UTC)
this rant has severe case of AD-OS! That's Attention Deficit - OH SHINY!

It does indeed. It does indeed.

It's a very pretty song indeed. <3 I'm also imagining what would happen if she and Mika joined forces. Would your mind just explode from too much awesome?

I've actually seen a few fanfics titled "I pity the violins"?

But man, I get the same feelings too when it comes to music and fandom. I desperately wish I had the means/time/skills to make fanvids, because they live in my mind ALL THE TIME. Usually, though, what happens is that I'll have a special playlist of songs I end up repeating constantly to keep me inspired while I'm writing a fic--they don't necessarily relate to the fic itself, but they usually have generally the same sort of themes and moods.

Also, "A wild non-Nar commenter appears!"? ...Does that mean I'm a domesticated commenter, or am I still a wild one that just happens to be common?

Also, you're missing out on an intense discussion of Delgado!Master's eyebrows on my end.
Sep. 13th, 2012 02:20 pm (UTC)
It was a very good thing I was writing this and not actually writing. I'm apparently worse than Ten when I get in those sorts of moods. Ramble all the things!

There would be no explosion if they did. It would be an implosion.

I've actually seen a few fanfics titled "I pity the violins"?

Have you? Huh. See? It is a good name. Other people thought so too.

Fanvids, why you have to be so consuming to make? I have a lot of respect for those that make such things.

You're a wild one that is common. You're like... whatever the most common pokemon you come across is. Or something like that. Because no one else ever comments. XD

*raises eyebrow* Am I really now?
Sep. 13th, 2012 05:40 pm (UTC)
Oh, so I'm a Rattata then. That's cool; you're the Rattata of my journal too.

Yes, you are. I'm trying to convince gluecookie that Delgado's eyebrows are a thing of beauty and would not hindrance listening to classical music.
Sep. 13th, 2012 08:39 pm (UTC)
Works for me. XD

Delgado's eyebrows are indeed lovely. Not quite as awesome as the Brigadiers, but good all the same.

Edited at 2012-09-13 11:31 pm (UTC)
Sep. 14th, 2012 12:18 am (UTC)
I only now just realized how apt my icon is for being a Rattata... SLOW NAR IS SLOW.

True that; the Brig's eyebrows are Global Overlords; Delgado's eyebrows are more like Despotic Kings.
Sep. 14th, 2012 12:19 am (UTC)
That second sentence has too many semicolons. :-/
Sep. 14th, 2012 12:24 am (UTC)
It does have too many semicolons, but I'll forgive you.

Ironic icon is ironic. XD
Sep. 14th, 2012 11:26 am (UTC)
I know exactly how you feel. After all, I did write a post about all the fanvids I wanted to exist. And via Homestuck, I have acquired a desire for song parodies involving characters and pairings from my fandoms. Yeah...
Sep. 14th, 2012 08:52 pm (UTC)
WHY MUST SONGS GIVE ME FEELS? Sigh. At least they come together in our minds.
( 11 comments — Leave a comment )


Anla-shok Na Ivanova
Memory Dragon

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