Log in

No account? Create an account

Previous Entry | Next Entry

I am revealed.

So they've finally revealed names for the cap_ironman gift exchange/secret santa.  I'll be posting mine to my lj, AO3, and possibly ff.net account soon with some new edits, but if you're too impatient you can check the com for History Lessons.  Right now though?  Now I can finally bitch about it. 

I'm pretty sure it's the longest fic written for the exchange this year, by at least 10k.  Why did that fic turn out so massively long?  T_T  Though, seriously people.  If the fics were posted in the order the mods received them, you all are a bunch of slackers and procrastinators.  There's no way I should have been the second person to turn their gift in.  XD  I mean, my final draft was sent in with still a week to spare, and that was with going over edits the kindly mod offered on my other draft I sent in. 

Let's talk stats then.  I wrote over 33k in eleven days.  That's the writing and typing of the fic, which equals out to roughly 3k of writing during the day, and 3k of typing at night every day.  That fic was my life for a while.  -_-;;;  Which doesn't even begin to cover the sheer amount of fretting that went on before, during, and after fic got finished.  There was a lot of fretting.  Whether I'd take to one of the prompts, especially considering I only really had two to chose from, whether I'd finish the damn thing in time because that was bloody ridiculous.  I'd planned for 5k-10k in length before I got the prompts.  33k was way beyond that.  Then there was worrying over prompter would like it because of all the fandoms and references they might not get.  I mean, I stalked the prompter for a little to see if they were at least a Whovian, but even then I only found New Who references and let's face it... History Lessons leans towards Classic pretty heavily.  And just because one is a New Who fan, does not mean that one is at all interested in Classic Who.  It is a sad fact, but true.  Really, sometimes I weep for the future when I hear New Who fans scoff at the old series, but that's neither here nor there. 

That bloody friending meme did not help my attempts to keep my identity secret either.  Not that I regret it, but I had to do quite a lot of self-censoring to come off as only a Whovian fan.  I don't think it worked.  Actually, I know it didn't work, because I put that bit about Planet of the Giants being the Master's fault into Tony's mouth and completely forgotten that I had.  And since I'm one of two people who was there for the watchalong that we determined this headcanon, my identity was shot to hell if anyone had picked up on it.  I did try.  I even attempted not to use my B5 icons!  Or even mentioning B5.  Ah, well.  Still, the mods had to post that right after my fic had been posted to trip me up.  XD   Frankly, my Classic Who enthusiasm was probably enough to give people suspicions anyway.  It's not my fault the fic I wrote had so many fandoms...

While I'm glad I wrote the fic, I'm not sure I want to do the Secret Santa again next year.  I dunno.  It was a lot of fretting, and not an entirely enjoyable experience.  Not because of the mods or anything (the mods were great!), but just my own fretting.  I'm really not sure it was worth it in the end.  I mean, I've done a lot of anon prompts before and they've never bothered me.  It's just different though, since I can post it when I want and after I'm satisfied with things.  No waiting, less fretting.  And even if the prompter doesn't like my prompt, there's always a chance they'll get someone else writing for them.  I'm pretty sure the OPs on a few of my fills either ignored me or didn't care enough to comment. 

I do miss writing for prompts though.  And no, that's not a cry for people to prompt things at me.  I just sort of miss the b_e anon meme.  Avengers kink is really too massive for me to find the kind of prompts that call to me.  I don't know how anyone actually keeps up with that sucker to be honest.  I miss being able to find an anonymous prompt and leave an anonymous gift to make someone's day though.  Then claiming it when I'm good and ready.  Actually, I don't think I've got any unclaimed fills right now.  Banana fic was the one I was never going to own up to, but then Nar recced the Batman role play and if my dirty laundry was going to be aired out, I figured I might as well go all the way.  Banana fic is still too painful though.  >.>

I dunno.  Maybe it's just because I've been having a frustrating few weeks because of all the China stuff.  I'm also physically not feeling all that great at the moment.  But I really don't know if I'd ever want to do another Secret Santa fic exchange.  It was just a lot of hassle and stress.  Also, since I write enough that I really don't need deadlines, I don't think I like deadlines in general.  There's a reason I never bother with NaNo.  If I can write that much anyway, why deal with that sort of pressure?  I just don't think I'm really the type for this sort of challenge.  At least not when it's a gamble for how long the story will end up being. 

It probably really didn't help that the last two entries were the two tropes I combined for History.  They managed to get to slash in one journal entry, while I could barely manage pre-slash in 33k.  Way to make me feel inadequate.  T_T I tried, damn it.  I'm just not a natural shipper.  Sigh.

And for the record, I am done with long fic for a while.  After I finish this bloody epic (It's over seventy pages in my notebook and counting), I'm just done.  Amy-verse (if I ever get it typed up) is close to/around 30k (it was a little shorter than History), History was 33k, and Epic fic is... okay, I'm just not going to think about how long that one is, really.  I don't want to know at this point.  But I'm going back to writing short fic, damn it.  I don't have patience for most things over 25k, and those are three too many fics over that length.  So the next-Amy-verse is going to be a while coming (not like this current Amy-verse hasn't, but still) and any other long fic that might pop up is just going to have to wait.  Mem needs a break.


( 6 comments — Leave a comment )
Jan. 26th, 2013 05:17 am (UTC)
Well, first of all:


Because it sounds like you need them. Second of all, you deserve a break. Sometimes I wonder if you're trying to burn a candle at both ends, the pressure you put yourself under with the stressing and whatnot.

Also, you're not feeling well again? I hear there's been some horrendous flu strain going around the world at the moment; I sure hope that's not what you have.

For the record, I think you're an awesome writer. I'm your beta, and I see the stuff that isn't shiny and perfect yet, and I still think it's awesome. <3

So curl yourself up in a blanket and eat some chocolate, Dr Nar's orders. Hope you start feeling better soon!

P.S. You're never allowed to regret Roleplaying Timelords. Never.
Jan. 26th, 2013 05:43 pm (UTC)
Yay for cuddles! Sorry. That was mostly whining. And all stuff you've heard before. But still.

Yes, but burning the candle at both ends means that I'm playing with two balls of fire. It makes the pyromaniac in me happy. Sadly, there won't be much of a break for me to have since I'm leaving in two weeks to see if there is actually anything redeeming about the company I'm going through or if they are actually as terrible as they've been thus far.

Not the flu, no. Just period crampy icky-ness that is generally TMI. So it's just the usual. Doesn't make it any less fun.

Aw, thank you. Really, I'm just being whiny. It just hasn't been a good few weeks between the run around both the company I'm traveling with and the doctor's office on getting my immunizations have been giving me.

Chocolate is good. Can't argue with Dr. Nar. XD

P.S. You're never allowed to regret Roleplaying Timelords. Never.

If you say so...
Jan. 26th, 2013 08:11 pm (UTC)
Hey man, cuddles are good for any occasion.

*pats* Well, I hope the company turns out better once all the bureaucratic buffoonery is finally out of the way; it's never fun in any situation.

The way I know God isn't a woman is because we have periods. Trufax.

Chocolate cures all ills. All ills. It is the ultimate panacea.

You should be proud of that crack. It was the most brilliant crack. Good crack is hard to find, man.
Jan. 27th, 2013 05:02 pm (UTC)
Cuddles really are.

One should hope so. Or at least they'll just leave me to teach, since they don't appear to be actually helping in anyway.


Chocolate is indeed almighty. XD

Again, if you say so...
Jan. 28th, 2013 01:48 am (UTC)
*raises hand* I am a slacker and procrastinator. :D

I did figure you had written History Lessons, but the reason why they're anonymous is so that people don't not read the fic because they don't know the author. Or something. I don't know. I just wanted to give someone a present.

It was a really stressful challenge, but I assumed it was just me.

I was amazed by the long!fic, though, Mem! It's one of my bookmarked to reads because I wanted to comment when I knew for sure it was yours. :)
Jan. 28th, 2013 02:08 am (UTC)
I am apparently one of the few people in the challenge who was not. XD I also knew I wasn't going to have a lot of time once the actual holidays got there, so I needed to get it done before then. And I knew it would be long. -_-;;;

I'm pretty sure you were the one I made that comment to as well. ^_^;;; I didn't even realize it until later when I was editing, and I reread that part. It was just a little throwaway line and I'd completely forgotten I'd put it in there. Afterwards it was like... dang it. There goes my anonymous-ness. But yeah, that's why I signed up. It's been a while since I've really had a prompt that called to me, so I figured the gift exchange would at least be something to give me a break from epic long fic.

Definitely not just you. Though I think it wouldn't have been anywhere near as stressful if I'd been able to keep the plot within my assumed range of 5-10k. Doing 33k in that short of time was just... not fun. Necessary, because beta readers needed time to look over it and all that, but still not fun. With edits, I think it's up to 34k now... I'll see if I can't post the new version tonight. It might have to wait till I get back from Houston though.

Glad you enjoyed it! Even with my Anon fail. Totally not my fault given Whovian fawning was going to happen in a meme like that. I was really just screwed from the start of that, since my fic was so fandom heavy. XD
( 6 comments — Leave a comment )