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The Symbolism of Rain

Title: The Symbolism of Rain
Author: MemoryDragon
Summary: Heero tried to hide his past. He thought if she knew, she wouldn't be able to love him. But the rain washes away sins and brings acceptance...
Characters: Heero Yuy/OC (bear with me?  The point wasn't romance and she had to be an OC to work...)
Warnings: O_o It's just odd.
Author's notes:  Okay, I should start off by saying this one is weird.  It is just a really odd little fic that I don't even really remember writing. I literally found it under my bed. I think it was one of those times I was bored in class and just started writing... Usually, that results in me rambling, but that time it resulted in a fic.

In all honesty, I don't know what I was thinking when I wrote this. It was long enough ago that I didn't even follow where it was going until I got to the end. And that's just sad, because I'm usually pretty good at predicting things (I should be able to predict myself at least...). I blame it on the dust that was under my bed.

Anyway, this is a Heero/OC. Wait! Hear me out! I don't consider this a romance really, Heero's just dating some chick. The whole point of the fic is that she really doesn't know his past, making it impossible for it to be either Relena or Duo. So, yeah. It doesn't make much sense or seem to have much a point at the beginning, but just go with it.  Honestly, if it made sense I'd probably remember writing it in the first place...


I'm in love with a Gundam pilot.

Oh, I don't seem the type to fall for heros. Most of them just end up dead anyway. And then you add in the fact that we are complete opposites. I'm cheery and bossy while he is quiet and cold. In fact, he barely ever smiles at the best of my jokes. I really don't expect him to laugh at all of them (Most are pretty bad, I admit), but at least smile for some of the better ones...

But, love him I do. It would have to take a strong bond for someone to do what I am currently doing. Or an insane person. I have the feeling I fall under the latter. Either way, here I am, sitting on the front porch while it's pouring down rain, waiting for the man I love.

I'm already soaked to the bone. Have been for some time now. I can only imagine what I look like at the moment. Definitely not the most attractive woman on the planet, with my long hair plastered to my back and around my face. No, far from attractive. The only image I can conjure up is one of a drowned rat.

Not that I mind the rain. I love it! The beautiful storm clouds are the sole reason I could never live in the colonies. To have the weather controlled... it almost takes out the beauty of it. It wouldn't have the random factor that makes such storms so lovely.

Come to think of it, this is probably his first real storm. We've only lived in this apartment for a month now. We met when I was visiting my cousins on L1. Since then, I've finally managed to lure him down from the colonies. Even if we decided to go back in a month or so, at least we have a place here to return to and that's all that matters to me.

I know he's survived snow before. But there's so much difference in the feel of rain and it's equally amazing frozen counterpart.

I have to admit it though. Heero hasn't told me anything of his past. Everything I know about him comes from the other pilots and a select few he calls his friends. I still don't know how I got into that tight circle.

Even so, he won't tell me anything. Duo, one of the other pilots I was introduced to, said he was just trying to protect me. But I think he just doesn't want me to know. Heero is fragile enough that he would believe I could stop loving him after he's told me some of 'horrific' things he's done.

Not that anyone else thinks he's fragile.

In a way, that's really sad. But I decided against pushing him long time ago. I'll wait till he is ready. Until then, all I can do is love him with all of my being. That way, maybe he'll start to see things differently.

Something cold nudged my arm. A puppy? A little white puppy. "What are you doing out in this weather?" I asked it, gently picking it up. The poor little thing was soaked to the bone but it still managed to yip and wag his tale happily at the attention I was giving him. As I tried to read his name on the collar, he licked the tip of my nose. After scolding him slightly, I returned my attention to the dog tag.

"Snowflake, 2206 Redfern lane." Our street. I looked at the pup thoughtfully. I'd heard Sandrine had gotten a puppy for her birthday last week...

"Snowflake!" A young, but worried voice cried out. Here she comes now.

"He's right over here, Sandy." A young girl wearing a bright yellow rain coat and matching boots bounced up the driveway. I held out the pup for her grabbing hands, smiling slightly I watched her cuddle it.

"Thank you, Miss Jaimie. Are you and Mister Heero ever gonna get married?"

I'd forgotten how straight forward and curious youngsters could be. Hoping I wasn't too red, I replied in a steady voice that I did not know.

"Why not?" She asked, refusing to give up on the conversation. It really is cute how she emphasises unknown words though. "Momma says it's only proper that he pro-poses to you as soon as poss-i-ble or he'll slan-slan-slan-der your re-pu-ta-tion. What does slan-der mean?"

Good old Mrs. Hawthorne. She should really learn not to argue with her husband within the child's hearing. "Nothing important, love. I'm sure he'll propose to me when he's ready." I stood up and gently pushed her toward her own home. "You should get back, now. You don't want Snowflake to catch cold!" She ran off laughing happily.

I didn't notice Heero was standing there watching us until she was nearly out of sight. Thank goodness there was no way he could have heard our conversation. But I still wouldn't doubt it if he were to comment that I was blushing.

"Heero!" I called to him, waving. Hopefully, he won't notice I'm slightly red... I started to run up to him when I noticed something wrong. He looked... he looked shaken.

"Heero? Heero, what's wrong?" As I got closer, I saw he was just drenched as I was. Maybe now he'll listen to my pleas that he should take the beat up jeep that we had saved up for and bought last week.

The look in his eyes made me soon forget all thoughts of the jeep. He was almost looking though me. "Heero?" I asked a bit more urgently. "What happened? Are you okay?"

He looked like he was about to collapse. Alarmed, I quickly steered him up to the porch. Heero only got about half way up the driveway before he tripped and fell.

I couldn't stop him from falling. No matter how fragile he looks, he still weighs a lot more than me! It was all I could do to keep from coming down on top of him. "Heero!" I gently pulled on his shoulders, so I could see his face.

God, his eyes look haunted. Those Persian blue pools were filled with so much guilt, I almost backed away in shock.

He's nearly broken down in front of me several times. Each time he would tighten his grip on his emotions and turn away from me. I knew it would come down to this sometime or another... But why now? What had triggered this?

The rain still pounded down on our backs and the thunder nearly drowned out what he said. I had to strain to hear him. "But I killed her... I killed her and her dog. I didn't mean to kill her! I... It was an accident... but she's still dead..." Heero went on like that, staring blankly though me.

Well, this explained a few things.

I couldn't tell whether he was actually crying or the rain drops just made the illusion that he was. But I did know he looked like a frightened young man who had his mask of coldness split open.

"Oh, Heero..." I reached out to him, wiping away one of the tears/rain drops on his cheek with my own wet hand. I leaned my head into his, kissing his forehead softly. "It's not your fault. It never was."

He threw himself into my arms, sobs racking his entire body. I'm glad no one is out now. Someone might have accused me of cheating on my boyfriend! I don't think even the other Gundam pilots would have recognized him now.

I don't know how long I held him there, with the rain coming down all around us. I was almost glad that my shirt was already soaked. Finally, he broke away from me, questions mixed with hurt in his eyes. "Why?! How can you still love me after... after you know... I killed her! So why..."

How could someone hurt that much? I quickly bit back the rage that threatened to consume me. If that doctor that had trained him wasn't already dead or Heero didn't need me so much... I would have followed him through nine hells to get revenge. "Because, Heero, I do. It doesn't matter what you have done, I'll still love you."

This was a new concept for him. Mentally, I cursed that Doctor ten times more. "Come on," I said lightly, helping him stand up. "Let's go inside before you get sick."

"But... I don't... I don't deserve your love..." His eyes still looked so bleak, so desolate... Disbelief was written plain on his face.

I will never let anyone hurt him like that again.

I kissed him again, this time on the lips. Then I looked straight up into his eyes, making sure he understood how serious I was. "Don't ever let anyone tell you that you don't deserve me or anything. You deserve so much more than whoever told you that."

I lead my very dazed boyfriend inside and over to the living room couch. It's been through much worse than two soaked people sitting on it.

He clung to me, as if he was afraid I would leave him at any second, tears still flowing down his face. The rain pattered down on the roof soothingly. You know, my old French teacher said rain symbolized rebirth and the washing away of sins.

I held him tighter, reaching for a blanket as we both started to shiver from the rain. Yes, let this be a rebirth for him. I know his past is very dark at some points. I may truly not want to know some of it. But I know for a fact that no matter what he's done, this world owes him so much more than what he's been given.

A rebirth and a new beginning. That maybe all I am able to give him. But if I am able to give him at least that, then it might be enough. Maybe, that haunted look will fade. Maybe, Heero will begin to smile more. Maybe...

The rain continued to fall...


Quote of the Fic:
"I am sure it is a great mistake always to know enough to go in when it rains. One may keep snug and dry by such knowledge, but one misses a world of loveliness."
-Adeline Knapp